From Britannica: “happiness, in psychology, a state of emotional well-being that a person experiences either in a narrow sense, when good things happen in a specific moment, or more broadly, as a positive evaluation of one’s life and accomplishments overall—that is, subjective well-being. Happiness can be distinguished both from negative emotions (such as sadness, fear, and anger) and also from other positive emotions (such as affection, excitement, and interest). This emotion often co-occurs with a specific facial expression: the smile.”
Born in the USA: At first, I thought it might be useful to look at world rankings of national happiness, but after a brief investigation, the charts I saw, which may be ‘accurate,’ don’t reflect the overall emotional state of the USA in 2024.
First of all, being a genuinely happy person doesn’t mean that you never have negative emotions. Everyone has their ‘good days’ and ‘bad days.’ That seems obvious, but I think it’s something we can easily forget. It also makes it virtually impossible to ever think of ourselves as being a happy person; yet another in an endless list of unrealistic expectations that doom us to ‘failure.’
That said, my guess is that the percentage of USAians who would be described by a professional observer as a ‘genuinely happy person’ would be below 20, maybe in the single digits. The reasons start early and only get worse as we grow to adulthood. Some of us, once retired, seem to take stock of our situation and make at least a small recovery.
Being ‘Protected’: Taking things for granted is more than being privileged, arrogant, or naive. It is not a ‘moral failing,’ but it is a form of blindness, and blindness can lead to horrible accidents or injuries. The USA is only days away from finding out just how dangerous our skewed perspectives on the world are. Regardless of the ‘winner,’ we are in for some truly violent, chaotic times.
A young man I met a couple of months ago at the doggy park, an immigrant from Jordan who arrived 11 years ago, has helped me appreciate some of those things we take for granted, even if many of them are largely symbolic (voting), have already been eroding (free speech and privacy) and may soon be taken from us completely. In other words, the ‘protection’ is in serious peril.
Misguided Expectations: The dominant narrative of US society is filled beyond capacity with diseased expectations, hopes and dreams. In fact, for the overwhelming majority, the American Dream has been a total nightmare, even for many who ‘achieved’ it, when the Middle Class was built. (1946-70ish?)
Yeah, turns out the ole adage “Money can’t buy happiness” turns out to be true. As I’ve often said, it ain’t poor folk keeping psychiatrists busy at $500-$1000/hr., although there are millions who would fill the largely non-existent free clinics, but not because of the emptiness created by financial ‘success.’
Being Well-Grounded: I spent my early-mid twenties in Philly. During those years (1971-75), I worked a variety of industrial jobs and went to a trade school to learn the basic operation of an engine lathe. Virtually everyone I associated with wore either a dark blue or light blue collar, and unlike me, most of them were born into those circumstances.
All but a very few of these people, about half of whom were Black and who ranged in age from young teens to oldsters, had their feet more firmly planted on the ground than I do, even to this day. No, not because they were ‘better people’ than I. They didn’t have the handicap of being brought up in a privileged environment that shattered into a million pieces when the true cost of that environment was exposed for the empty, alienating BS it really is.
Let me be clear. It is ‘easier’ to live a life of privilege, without the worries about one’s basic needs being met and having unearned stuff just given to you. But here’s the rub. Except for those basic needs (food, shelter, clothing) that we all need, most if not all of the ‘extras’ leave one ‘lost,’ our basic humanity eroded by all of that meaningless ‘stuff.’
Every bit as disturbing is that many of you are thinking how easy it is for me to say such crap, since I have never been in danger of not having my needs met. To me, that shows that the dominant narrative of industrial civilization, with all of its sick, twisted values, holds the upper hand.
‘Happy’: In 2011, a most enlightening documentary came out. ‘Happy’ takes the viewer on a most captivating trip across the globe and into a wide variety of socioeconomic environments, where we talk with their residents, including their attitudes about being happy. In between, we hear from various professionals who report the findings of research into the subject.
I have watched the film twice in the past week, and both times left me with tears in my eyes, the positive kind, the kind that will bring me back for periodic viewings. More importantly, the film, along with numerous other recent events in my life, has convinced me that being happy can be a choice; not in every moment, of course, but as a general orientation.
A bit about those other recent events. Ironically, over the past few months, I have actually found myself resisting feeling ‘good.’ It was a physical sensation, a successful pushing away of the impulse to feel positive. When I finally allowed it to register in my brain, I was so startled that I mentioned it to my wife. In hindsight, I think I did so in order to make myself stop doing it. Success! (mostly)
‘The Continuum Concept’: In her delightful, and enlightening, book Jean Liedloff describes a very difficult and dangerous portage of a large canoe in which she and several others are traveling through the jungle of Venezuela. Among her companions are two Europeans (1 Portuguese, 1 Italian) and several Indigenous men, members of the Yequana tribe.
While dragging the heavy canoe over treacherous terrain, the two Europeans spewed an endless stream of curse-filled complaints. The Yequana men, on the other hand, were laughing heartily, even when thrown up against a rock wall or stumbling over boulders. Why such different reactions to the same painful circumstances?
To the Europeans, the portage was a nuisance, a disruption of what might otherwise be a pleasant paddle along a beautiful river. For the Yequana, it was simply what needed to be done in order to continue the trip. The different reactions, and the responses that followed, grew from different expectations. Let’s look a little deeper.
I want to differentiate between reactions and responses. Reactions are not ‘chosen.’ They are reflexive and therefore are not instantaneously within our control. For instance, no matter how we wind up ‘responding,’ if we are truly surprised, our reflexes are triggered.
Responses, on the other hand, are chosen. Somebody may startle us with a comment or an action, but after an initial ‘gut reaction’ we choose what comes next. I onced came within less than an inch of pushing my mother down a flight of stairs, after she intentionally, as a joke, surprised me. Thankfully, I was able to choose a response after my initial impulse to push away the source of my surprise.
One of the reasons people react or respond differently to the same stimuli is their expectation, which in the case of our canoe portage includes a level of acceptance. The Yequana not only knew there would be a dangerous portage, they also fully accepted it and then chose to turn it into an opportunity to have some ‘fun.’ Obviously, their Italian and Portuguese companions had no such ability.
Evolution to the Rescue: There were, of course, many many contrasts in the lives of the two groups. Our Europeans had been born and raised in cultures that were far removed from our species’ evolutionary practices and sensibilities. The Yequana, on the other hand, lived in a culture much more closely in tune with our natural instincts. All of the crew were born with those instincts, but they were purposefully denied in the Europeans’ cultures, while the Yequana’s environment helped them to flourish.
This finding is very much in keeping with the research results we saw in the ‘Happy’ documentary. Once our basic needs - food, shelter and clothing - are met, the ability to ‘choose’ happiness is not tied to our ‘external circumstances’ - wealth, status, etc. In fact, above a certain level, they may even be inversely related. The ‘richer’ one is, the more difficult it is to be happy.
We are living in ‘dark times,’ and it very much looks like more are on the way. The reasons to be governed by negative emotions are everywhere, and the only way to have a chance to escape them is to completely, and literally, ‘tune out.’ Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen, right?
We can, however, still choose to be happy. In ‘Happy’ they presented a pie chart indicating that 40% of our general emotional state was determined by our ‘intentional activities.’ Fifty percent were considered a ‘genetic’ disposition and a mere 10% were due to those ‘external circumstances.’
Let’s not haggle over the accuracy of the figures. It’s probable that they generally reflect reality. That means by choosing to engage in activities we enjoy or provide other benefits, we significantly raise our ability to achieve a general state of happiness. So, “don’t worry,” go do the things that make you happy!
https://tubitv.com/movies/157792/happy?=undefined&startPos=5